Haggling 100: A Primer for Seraphs
Preparation is everything in the War and attempting to Haggle is no exception.
Stage 1: First perform a Celestial reconnaissance to familiarise yourself with the location of this field exercise and identify an object that will be your purchase. Now visit a Fixed price shop (see below) to identify the correct price for the item you have selected for this exercise in Mundane existence.
Stage 2: Obtain this money by finding the nearest Mercurian Servitor of Mark. Ask it for thus sum less a number between 1 and 10. Return this sum of money expressed as a percentage of the total. Put the rest of the money in a pocket of your clothing.
Stage 3: Select the shop that is to be the place of your exercise.
Stage 4: Pick the cheapest and most repulsive item you would least like to purchase and ask its price.
Ignore everything you are told. Invoking your Resonance will be a waste of energy.
Then you can confidently state at length that you would not pay anything for such rubbish thus: telling the Truth; establishing your credibility as a Haggler of power and demonstrating your fluency in Arabic at the same time!
Stage 5: Now name the figure that you have in ready cash about your person stating that "this is all the ready money you have in the World." There is no need to take this out of your pocket to show him as he is not really interested in seeing your pocket change.
IMPORTANT: At no time indicate the actual item you are interested in. Don't even look at it. Your real intended purchase is safe on the shelf and can stay there until it is yours.
Stage 6: State that you can't currently see anything in the shop that you really want but that there must be something in here that is worthwhile having. And there is! Your intended purchase is a worthwhile exercise in trying to think like an Egyptian!
At this stage you will probably be offered refreshments. This is a key rule in Haggling and should be adhered to at all times. It is necessary to accept these refreshments if you intend the purchase and equally necessary to refuse if you do not. In the latter case you are "just browsing". For an explanation of this term see our Advanced course for Seraphs: "Window shopping 101" Remember the cost of the refreshment is already figured in the final price of the item you want and the Vendor will be most upset if you try to pay for it.
In doubt try to cultivate the Resonance of an Elohite as you enjoy your drink and pastry.
Do not be offended by the Shopkeeper's poor Emoting skills. Being a Mundane he does not receive quality training in such matters.
Stage 6: Look out for any statements concerning his family: their number, how many children he has, their condition and health.. Now is the time to use your Resonance to detect the inevitable factual distortions of the Truth.
Depending on how successful your Resonance is, correct his mistakes using the following simple formula: "Why, what nonsense, you look like a man who has… (the Truth).
Stage 7: Quickly, whilst he is still in shock, turn to the real item that you do want. State firmly that this is the only item that you do want, produce your money and that this is the maximum you will pay for it.
Stage 8: Leave with your purchase.
In general
- At no time show surprise when you fail to detect a lie on any price quoted by any shopkeeper. He honestly believes that you are a gullible Angel and that this is the price you will pay for the item.
- At no time pay the initial or asking price
Now all you have to worry about is what you will actually "do" with your new Mundane Possession. If in doubt just give it to the nearest Ofanite of Trade who will find a suitable home for it.
IF ALL ELSE FAILS there are shops in Cairo especially for Seraphs these are called "Fixed Price Shops" where you will feel more at home!
